Gratitiude: A Little Appreciation Goes A Long Way

In our society, we have institutionalized the practice of gratitude. People say “thank you” without thinking, and without any genuine sense of thanks.  Its become a meaningless courtesy, like Goodbye originally meant “God Be With Ye.”

We’ve done the same thing with gratuities.  Tips used to mean “to insure promptness” but now they are expected at restaurants, and for a cab driver, and sometimes are automatically added to the bill, whether we like it or not.
In religious circles, people are more than willing to Praise God, and bless His Name, but we are pretty bad at showing gratitude toward one another.  It reminds me of a line in the movie, “Raisin in the Sun.”  Sidney Poitier played a not so religious Baptist who helps a group of German nuns living in the desert to build their chapel.  He brings building materials and spends his time and energy helping them.  In the end, they give thanks to God.  Poitier complains to the head nun and said its great that you thank God, but how about thanking me?  I did all the work!   The nun replied, “No, we thank God, you couldn’t help yourself.”
Perhaps we think that the people who extend their efforts and money and time just can’t help themselves too.  The reality is, everyone likes and needs the encouragement of being told their work and efforts are appreciated.  I belong to several organizations for which I do work without pay, just because I want to serve.  That’s fine because I like to be useful and make a contribution.  Not one of them however, does anything to show appreciation.  In the more than 30 years I have been involved with these groups, it would have been nice to get some kind of plaque or expression of gratitude for all the work I did.  I don’t need a plaque, I don’t do this stuff for plaques, but it would have been a nice token of appreciation, for them to say, thanks, we value all you did.
My father was an active member of the Knights of Pythias lodge for many years.  He always volunteered, spent time on his day off getting things ready for lodge meetings, and faithfully did what they needed to have done.  One thing they did right, was thanking people.  If you volunteered and did work, you got a plaque.  My father didn’t need plaques either, but he had a wall full of them.  They were tangible tokens of appreciation for work he didn’t have to do that helped build up the organization.  To this day, he still has a dozen of them on his walls.  I don’t need plaques either, but when I get one, I would put it on the wall, if nothing else, as a sign that someone at some time, appreciated something I did.
When we show appreciation in the presence of our community and colleagues, it’s a good feeling.  It makes you feel like the sacrifices you made were worth it.  Most of us live sacrificial lives, and it’s not because of a plaque.  It still makes you feel good to get the recognition a plaque symbolizes.  I know many people who have served faithfully over the years and they never got any recognition.  They didn’t do it for that, and when they were done, they got a moment of applause to show appreciation, but they left burned out.  They often never serve again, and they feel unappreciated for their efforts.  As humans, we have on some level, a need to be appreciated.  Gratitude, even on a token level, goes a long way toward making someone feel that what they did was worthwhile.  It makes you feel good you did it.
I’ve worked in Eastern Europe for almost two decades.  They are not big on plaques, but I always knew they appreciated what I did.  Their kindness and generosity in the midst of their poverty meant a lot to me.  This past summer, a group of Jewish Combatants and survivors of the war in Poland gave me an award for my humanitarian work with Holocaust survivors.  I never did it for the plaque, but it sure felt good to get it.  Tears came to my eyes; not because it was a plaque, but the expression of thanks meant so much.   We need to do better expressing thanks to people who sacrifice their time and efforts and energies in our work.  It’s a little thing that can mean a lot.

3 thoughts on “Gratitiude: A Little Appreciation Goes A Long Way

  1. I think often that an organization will tend to honor one person out of all the ones that served. There will be a “Greatest Service” type of award every year or so, and all the rest who served so faithfully may not even get a lousy smile. That puts serving into a competitive situation, which is not right. Generally, a person who serves does so just because he wanjts to do it, rather than as a competitive effort to get the one award that might be given out.

    I remember, about 15 years ago, I wrote a small book about catboats, and then I donated all the rights to the Catboat Association. At the annual meeting of about a thousand people, they gave me the Dolphin Award for that. Yet, all the rest of the many, many people who did so much to keep the Catboat Association up and running during the year got absolutely nothing.

    It is just as you said.

    • Thanks for a most appropriate observation. It was clear and to the point. One of the things I noticed when I was in little league as a kid: Everyone got some award at the end of the season. Even though we knew we weren’t the world champions, it still felt good to not walk away empty handed.

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