The New Bullying

There’s been a lot of emphasis in our society about trying to put an end to bullying. We’ve made it socially unacceptable, we’ve imposed embarrassing punishments on people who bully in an attempt to have a kinder and more decent society.  I am in favor of this.  A large part of my ethics are based on the kind treatment of other people.

The definition of bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual.

Everyone seems to have gotten on board with the anti-bullying campaigns. I don’t like to see anybody bullied and I am just the type person to speak out against it when I see someone doing it. The down side of the issue is that we only speak against socially unacceptable bullying.  I have the feeling that all the anti-bullying campaigns are little more then an opportunity to say that we don’t bully.  In my opinion it’s a lot of crap.
We kid ourselves if we don’t think bullying is going on every day and we are not active participants in it.  If someone smokes, its open season on bullying them, because our society has decided they don’t like smoking.  There is almost no where a person is allowed to smoke anymore, indoors or out.  Smokers rights seem to have been put aside, and they are treated like lepers if they smoke.
It is also socially acceptable to make fun of fat people and make disparaging remarks about them being gluttons or lazy because they are overweight.  Some airlines will charge overweight people for two seats and publicly embarrass them in the process.  We convince ourselves we are doing it for their own good, but all it does is hurt them.  Its open season on them, and its a hateful thing to do.

Apparently we only call it bullying if someone’s attacking one of our protected causes. If I don’t support transgender bathrooms, I’ve been told that holding a different view somehow makes me a bigot and I hate monger. No way.  I am not filled with hate for anybody just because I disagree about something. I am not a bigot because I don’t I think it’s right for men to be using the ladies room.


When it is not possible for someone to hold  a viewpoint other than yours without being called a bigot or a hate monger, or someone with a phobia, then you are bullying them to accept your views. Sorry folks but I believe the genitalia determines which restroom you use. Its common sense and society has functioned well with that view for countless generations.  That doesn’t make me a homophobe, it doesn’t make me a bigot, and it doesn’t make me uncaring. Sensitivity to the transgendered results in insensitivity to the many women who would be uncomfortable with their presence in ladies rooms. Holding that view does not make me a bigot, It means I don’t agree with you, a right I choose to exercise, and I’m not going to be bullied into acquiescing to someone else’s BS’ing.


It’s not just the transgender issue. The boycott Israel movement has been trying to paint Israel as an apartheid state. The facts show otherwise, but Arab students on college campuses have been bullying Jewish students and anybody who is pro-Israel. It is the new anti-semitism, and its somehow acceptable to be so.  Holding this view doesn’t make me anti Muslim.  It means I don’t agree with you.  I don’t eat bacon, but I don’t go around trying to make pork eaters feel bad.  Its called mutual respect.
If I don’t support “abortion rights,” I’m labeled as anti women.  Why can’t I hold a view different from yours and honestly disagree without being labeled as something terrible?

It’s time to realize that bullying goes two ways. I’m tired of people trying to bully me because I don’t agree with them. I don’t want to be hit with a barrage of accusations and labeled being a “hater” because I disagree.  If you can’t deal with the fact that people have an opinion other than yours and that it’s legitimate to do so, then you’re the one with the problem. You need to learn to respect people who disagree with you.  Get yourself some counseling, learn to cope, or do what people have been doing for time immemorial. Get over it. It is maturity to show respect for people in the midst of strongly held differing opinions.  If you can’t do that, then emotionally, you are still in the seventh grade.


4 thoughts on “The New Bullying

  1. The bullying to which you refer is just as you describe, but there is a feature you don’t address to any extent. That is, when people come down all over you because you disagree with them, they usually don’t do you any physical harm. All they can do is humiliate you and embarrass you. ISIS et al, of course, is an exception, but they will harm or kill you regardless of your political or moral beliefs.

    There is another form of bullying with which I am all too familiar. When I was a child, there were some boys who would regularly beat me up after school, take my lunch or lunch money, ruin my books, pants me and laugh at my genitalia or molest me a bit, and other things. Once they even took my pants and underwear, then turned me loose about 3 blocks from home pantsless. When I finally sneaked home, my pants were there. One of the creeps took them home to my mother and told her I was wandering around with no pants, he found them, and he thought he ought to give them to her. Then, of course, I got royally spanked for running around half naked. The issue is, that you CANNOT stop this. I reported them many times, and every time I did that I paid for it. Neither the teacher nor my parents had any way to stop it. Even if it could have been stopped (which it could not), I would still have lived out the rest of my childhood in fear.

    If you want to address bullying, take that one on, and good luck. For anyone who responds saying I should have done this or that, forget it. Whatever it is, I tried it. The only way to stop that would have been for either the other boys or me to move away, and of course that wasn’t an option.


  2. You will never have to make a decision about whether or not to get an abortion, so I will not call you a hater, or anti-women. I will call what you are, a man who thinks you should have an opinion on what a women does with a parasitic being hosted in her body, and a man who thinks their opinion on what a women can and or can not do with her body and anything growing in or on it, should be respected, or should even matter to anyone. You are not being asked to have an abortion, or being faced with a pregnancy you were not prepared for, because you can’t ever get pregnant, you don’t have a uterus, you should just keep any thoughts or opinions you have on a matter you will never ever be faced with, to your damned self, and that is not bullying, it is what is. Learn to mind what is YOUR BUSINESS, if something doesn’t directly involve you, keep your thoughts, feelings, or opinions about whatever the “issue” is, to yourself, because if we want the world to ever be kind, we kind of need to learn to keep our overly large noses out of things that just are not our business and therefore should not be made into any concern of ours. Is M.Y.O.B. to difficult for you to adhere unto, Rabbi?

    • Some things transcend your personal rights, like the rights of the human you are destroying. I don’t need to be able to get pregnant to know that ending an innocent human life is what it has always been. Advocating for someone without a voice or choice in the matter is the moral and right thing to do. If you don’t like what I believe, by all means, mind YOUR own business.

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